Between Doubt And Faith by Scott Nellis: Reflecting on My Journey to Ordination

It's always helpful, I think, to stop and reflect as often as possible. This is how we evaluate where we've been, what we've done, and who we've become because of it. My life has taken me many places, and today marks my first full year of ordination. That word, ordination, likely doesn't hold a lot of meaning for many people. At one time it didn't really mean anything to me. But four years of theological study, contextual-education sites, and a summer chaplaincy internship will change a person. This long, winding journey that I began almost 8 years ago has taken me from Indianapolis to Columbus, and now to New Philadelphia, Ohio. It's a journey that began with intimidating essays, evaluations, and interviews. It then took me through a seminary education, a year-long internship, and a regional placement with the Lutheran Church. Indeed, it's a journey that has forever changed me, as well as the way I view God and the world. A journey that has broken down my black-and-white perceptions, even my faith at times, only to rebuild it with a broader worldview.

Today, as I reflect on this past year and the previous ones that led to this role as pastor of Emmanuel Lutheran Church, I am both thankful and humbled. Thankful to God for the people I serve, who also serve me in more ways than can be adequately counted ... and humbled by the position to which I've been called. I spent this evening with my family as we enjoyed a picnic with some members of our church. As we ate and talked, I felt especially grateful. I thought about how much I really do love my job, which, unfortunately, is something not many people are able to claim. I thought about the honor it is to lead these people on their faith journeys, and to walk with them through the many peaks and valleys of life.

Lutherans use the word "called" to describe this unique vocation. It's meant to describe the way both God — and a denominational church body — call a person into ordained ministry. It's not a scientific formula, but it is a thorough and rigorous process. It takes a lot of personal discernment as well as a lot of discerning people who affirm a person's calling. It's been a long and sometimes difficult road for me, but also an extremely rewarding one. I never thought I would be in this position, but am very thankful to God that I am. My life, by far, isn't perfect ... but the journey has made it all worthwhile.

"Be brave enough to travel the unknown path, and learn what you are capable of."
- Rachel Wolchin, Author