The Prayer List

God, here I am again, trying my best to pray. This list of prayer concerns seems to keep getting longer and longer.

I know. And it's really not a complete list. So many haven't shared their concerns publicly.

I never hear you like this. Why today?

This needs a bit more clarity. I will not often speak this way.

I guess I just feel so burdened when I see this list. So much sadness and sickness. It's so hard to understand.

I know.

I'm really aching for these people...people I know and care about deeply. The disease. The sickness. The fear. It's too much, God.

Why should I pray for this woman with stage-4 terminal cancer, God? I'm not stupid. I know the outcome of this one. What am I supposed to pray for? Her healing? Her peace and comfort through her last days?

Yes. You should pray for all of those things.

But she isn't going to be healed! This is so draining. What about the boy with leukemia? How can I believe in your 'goodness' in light on that situation?

You can't understand how I will work in his life.

Why?!

Just keep praying.

Why should I keep praying for others' healing when no obvious miracle ever happens?

You need to keep praying because it allows you to suffer, on some small level, along with them.

But God, it's so emotionally draining to read about all of this sickness and death. My heart feels heavy.

That's good. That's how I want your heart to feel.

Why do you let your children suffer, God? How can I believe in you, or your goodness, when so many good people suffer for no apparent reason?

You want reason and logic. I do not work in those ways. I work on the inside, where suffering meets joy.

But what kind of God lets his children suffer and die?!

I let my own son suffer and die...and that act may even be too difficult to understand.

You need to let go of your reasoning and simply pray for my will to be done. I give and I also take away. I love and I comfort. I provide. In these things, you need to find some solace.

What if I get cancer, God? What if I become a statistic, too?

There are no statistics in my kingdom. The world you live in is filled with many things...sorrow, evil, pain—and, yes—suffering. It is also filled with joy, hope, and kindness. If the burdens of "why" and "what if" become too heavy, let go and release it to me. I understand your worry...but it will not help you.

Amen, God.

Food Pantry Grace

A woman came to our church recently to see if we had a food pantry. I told her we did, and then gave her our standard form to fill out. When I returned with a few bags of food, this woman told me she didn't see a line on our form to write what her income was. I told her we don't need to know that particular information, and that we mainly want to keep track of who has used our food pantry and how often they are in need of the service.

This woman's comment about the missing "income" line got me thinking about God's grace.