Missing The Point

My mom always had an apt saying. She'd say, "Pick your battles." This mainly applied to my brother receiving a punishment much less harsh than I would have received for an identical misbehavior. But she was a tired mother and knew that some arguments just weren't worth picking. Better to have a peaceful household than one filled with anger and bitterness, even if it meant being a little lenient on the rules.

This principle shouldn't be lost on Christians. Sometimes we need to carefully "pick our battles." At times I wonder if we get so caught up in the rules that we miss the point of it all. In his book, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers, Dan Merchant said, "The thing that's particularly troubling to me is that when we engage with people we may not agree with, we seem to forget the essentials, love one another." Well put. And while most Christians are guilty of gravitating to Bible verses that fit our mindset, we can't deny the essentials. Be compassionate and humble. Live in harmony with one another. Be sympathetic. Don't judge each other. Love others deeply. These themes are repeated over and over again throughout Scripture. Many teachings in the Bible are a bit hazy and have multiple interpretations — these principles are clear.

We know the essentials; the hard part is living them out. It's sometimes easier to condemn than to show grace.

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So how do we have an open mind and an open heart while still standing firm in our beliefs?

I believe there is a balance. We can show love and acceptance to a person by simply acknowledging that we don't have all of the answers. Some issues are black-and-white and we feel very confident in our position. Others, however, aren't so clear and we need to embrace a humble spirit when discussing these issues with others. It's easy to argue someone down. However, is that really the right approach? Phillip Yancey once said, "No one ever converted to Christianity because they lost the argument." We must hold love for one another higher than anything else. That's what the Bible teaches and simply put: it just feels like the right thing to do. We can disagree on homosexuality, stem-cell research, church doctrine, politics, whatever. However, if these issues divide us, we've failed. We've missed the point. The point is to love, above all else. We should look to live in harmony with others, even when we don't see eye to eye. We really can agree to disagree. Or disagree to agree. However you view it, it's better than being divided.


One definition of reconciliation is to "win over to friendliness." That seems a worthwhile goal for Christians. We're not going to draw anybody to our side if the discussion becomes a debate. Civil and respectful dialogue can go a long way. When we find ourselves wanting to impose our viewpoint, let's remember that adults are stubborn. We're not likely to change anyone's mindset, anyway. Leave that up to the Holy Spirit.