The Best Christmas Present

At the risk of sounding utterly cliché, I wanted to write about my daughter's first Christmas and what a joy she is to my wife and me. Presents under the tree are always fun, especially because our family lives on a Dave Ramsey budget that doesn't usually allow for unnecessary extravagances each month. Christmas is when we stock up on entertainment and goodies for the year. We don't have cable, either, so a brand-new season of a favorite t.v. show is received with much gratitude. As fun as these presents are, my daughter, Lydia, is the best gift I could ever receive. To see her smile is a joy that stays with me throughout the day. To see her crawl and make new discoveries fills me with pleasure. Whether she's banging on a pot or pan, grabbing at a yet-to-be-opened Christmas gift, or chewing on a toy block, she's a wonder to behold.

Throughout the year, there are so many things that we can complain and squabble about. It's refreshing to look at a baby and be reminded of simplicity and grace. That's really what this season is about, right? A baby who came and changed everything, just like any new baby does to its parents. Nothing's the same anymore. Everything a parent does now revolves around that child and his or her schedule. A baby requires lots of love and attention. Some changes that a baby causes are hard: long, sleep-deprived nights, fussy mealtimes, constant attention and care. A baby is supposed to change our lives. Sometimes those changes are difficult to adjust to, but the reward is ultimately a lifetime of love. Whether a parent or not, it's nice to remember how a baby is supposed to pervade our life and change us from within.

Beautiful, Fleeting Moments

My daughter, Lydia, is almost eight months old. What a ride it's been. For those who are parents, you'll relate well to what I'm writing. For those who aren't parents, maybe this will provide you some insight to what might lay ahead in your life. I'm discovering that with a child come many, many beautiful, fleeting moments — and they're all very special to behold.

Beautiful, fleeting moments — those moments that are a snapshot of a time in their first year — fly by so quickly that you have to document almost everything. That's why parents take a zillion photos of their baby. That's why every parent has a "baby book." That's probably why I'm writing this blog. These beautiful, little moments come and go so quickly and we want them to hang around a little while longer. For example, I remember not too long ago when my daughter could barely sit up, and I would place her on my chest as I lay on the bed. Fast-forward just a mere three to four weeks and she's on the brink of crawling. Now when she sits on my chest, she's moving all over the place, wanting to crawl right off of me. I miss the days when she sat contently on my chest. Where did those days run off to?

I look at pictures of my daughter from just two to three months ago. She hardly resembles the growing, animated little girl that I see every day. Just three months ago my wife and I couldn't have imagined getting through a single day without the help of Lydia's pacifiers. Now her own fingers do the trick quite nicely and the pacies have been retired to a drawer full of clothes that she's also quickly outgrowing. Right now Lydia babbles all day long and it's adorable. I know I'll miss those babbles in a few months when they slowly become words. One of the most special moments between my daughter and I has been when I'm able to place her in a baby carrier that straps over my shoulders. She's able to rest against my chest while still exploring the world around her. I use this carrier most often in the grocery store and have enjoyed carrying her this way for months. Sadly, Lydia is getting heavier by the week and I'm sensing the nearing cessation of this great baby-bonding accessory.

Each moment of her first year has been something very special. I've enjoyed seeing her grow from a tiny infant who hardly opened her eyes to a cute, little baby who wants to play all day long. It just never ceases to amaze me how quickly these little moments come and then how quickly they leave, only to make room for the next beautiful moment. Each of these stages are unique and so very precious, and though I love each new one, I can't help but miss the moment that just passed.

Sinful Saints

There are a couple of good blogs that I follow. Only a couple, because the Internet is so full of voices, and those voices all start to sound like noise after a while. One good blog that I've recently discovered is called Sarcastic Lutheran: the cranky spirituality of a postmodern Gal. The blog's name is catchy enough in itself. However, the content is also really thoughtful and intriguing. It's written by a self-proclaimed "outlaw preacher," draped in tattoos and a love for God. She is the mission developer for House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Colorado. The name of the church is true enough, and this pastor seems to understand God's grace in a very down-to-earth, just-because-I-preach-doesn't-mean-I'm-perfect manner. To get a clearer picture of this church's heartbeat, check out the poster below.



















Poster design by Jim Smelser

One of this "gal's" recent blogs caught my attention. It's called "A Confession." She writes:

I am uncomfortable with a whole lot of Christianity. But the thing is, I'm Christian (note I didn't say "a" Christian...as that, to me, plays into the whole Western individualism gone amuck in the church thing ....another example of which is the "personal" lord and savior bit...you know — "personal trainer", "personal shopper", "personal assistant" and "personal lord and savior")
Here's why I'm struggling with this right now. There is an emerging women's gathering in Portland that I'm considering attending. This is a huge step for me — to be willing to step outside my tribe a bit. So I poked around on the web looking for information about the event. I found a list of the organizers and looked at the home page from one of their churches. It looked amazing with lots of street kids and crazy dreadlocked pastors, but on their "about us" page the first thing was that "we believe the Bible is inerrant and totally true", which made me want to never stop slapping them.

What's odd is that I find myself nodding and smiling as I read this preacher's blog. Within a sentence or two, she summarizes what many postmodern Christians feel. We are a sinful bunch, trying to find the balance between logic, reason and faith. We believe in scientific evidence, yet are still drawn to God. We have seen lost hope and unanswered prayers, yet still pray to our Father in Heaven. We recognize our sin, yet continue to crawl back to the Lord. Why do we do this?

These are some of the hardest issues that Christians struggle with today. We believe in the Bible, but aren't sure that it's inerrant or infallible. Authoritative? Sure. Inspired? Definitely. We just aren't sure how to reconcile the contradictions and verses that don't seem to apply to our lives today. But you don't throw the baby out with the bath water. There's much to love and to gain in this Holy book. So we push forward, striving to learn more about this loving and confusing God that we serve.

The ironic and inspiring thing is, despite all the scientific evidence and convincing arguments against God that fill bookshelves and saturate Internet bandwidth, we sinful saints still press on, seeking God every day. This is amazing and profound to me. It gives me hope and energizes my spirit. You don't have to have all the answers to be Christian. You can have serious doubts and still be Christian. God's arms are open to all: the saints and especially the sinners. This is the astonishing message of grace.

All of this should come as a relief to many. We have a Father in Heaven who loves us completely. We can love him back...and also be mad at him. We can love him and be confused by his ways. Thankfully, in the end, this phrase holds true: There's nothing we can do to earn God's love — and there's nothing we can do to unearn it.

Click here to view the Outlaw Preacher's blog.